Option is not a Failure!

It will happen, especially if a serious or indeed life threatening illness plays a family member like Whack-A-Mole; with the MD holding the Whack! I know what I am talking about, because I saw it first hand on the face of an ER physcian who thought he was option-less in helping my daughter. They won't let us admit her," said he. "What do you mean we are out of options?" I asked, panic stricken.

As you would guess, it is a hopeless feeling, but maybe more disturbing is the newness of that emotion for families experiencing their initial big health care crisis. I was stunned at the response. I had never heard such a thing and certainly this couldn't be happening in the 21st century. Are you telling me that the on-call orthopedic surgeon at the local hospital was not going to admit my daughter because of his hubris, ingorance, a poor judgement? If your remember, the reason was that his colleague instructed him not to do it because he thought my daughter was a drug seeker! Well, on hindsight, he was precise but misguided in his clinical assessment. After all, her femur shattered because of mis-diagnosed bone infection,so I'm guessin' she was looking for some pain relief in a round about way. Sorry, I flew off on an emotional tangent there for a sec...oophs!

So what is my point? As an educated health care recipient (and I mean get educated! Don't be coming in to my pharmacy not knowing what your doctor was supposed to be calling in for that nasty sinus infection!) and a advocate for that sick loved one, NEVER and I mean NEVER believe that you are out of options to get the needed treatment. You think that any doctor would accept that kind of "Sorry, there is nothing I can do?" response from one of his own. Believe me...he would fire the doctor and find a new one. I have done it and it was nothing personal. It was a matter of reminding that health care provider that I pay the bills, or more correctly speaking, my insurance company ponies up and then I disagree on the treatment approach.

And, guess what? You will find plenty of doctors out there that share your sentiments. A fiesty former Army Doc, also on duty that night, gladly shattered protocol, called and end run, and in less than an hour, my daughter was in a hospital bed, Morphine on board, and all vitals good. She was brilliant enough to not accept that woefully outdated argument of "Well, that is the way we have always done it around here!"

It will be a challenge to literally think out of the box and encourage that health care team that surrounds you to do the same. You are in crisis mode, so emotions are high and logic is suffering, Fear not, because those health care providers, like you, are are product of life's experience full of great and not so great ideas. Push 'em a little and ask what they would do if this were their child or mother or wife? If necessary take them to the brink of surrender. It won't be hard, most of them are overworked, sleep deprived, and often pick their battles wisely. I think that the pharmacist and doctors got so weary of me popping off as a pharmacist, they started asking me my insights about pain management to help my daughter and ultimately themselves (figuratively speaking).

Today, after three years. my daughter is thriving under the care of a skilled accupuncturist. And....this conservative, western medicine, trained pharmacist (aka,me) could not be happier. You listen to your intution. It is sometimes as valuable as that skilled surgeon or that new chemotherapy medicine. Even in the most sobering situation where thoughts and actions are so intense, almost surreal, you still have the option of doing NOTHING and leaving the outome to a force much greater that yours and mine. It can be liberating to be in that much control

So remember, if you think your out of options, maybe failure is the one! Just think about it... and of course remember...Take as directed.
blake